In my recent blog, “Lesson of the Lanyard,” I mentioned that our daughter Aletheia had recently started to walk. It was quite the journey because she always seemed to feel so much more confident in crawling and had gotten to the point where she was getting around really well on all fours. We worked and worked with her, but she wanted to take her time getting there. There were moments of frustration, but slowly she was able to get to the point that she could walk pretty easily. Now, she actually thinks it’s pretty funny trying to get away from us when we ask her to come. It’s cute. We laugh just as much as she does.
I have now been in full-time youth ministry for almost 6 years at NHCC. As I look back over those years, I can definitely see that many times I have the wrong mindset about something. Unfortunately, it happens far more often than I’d like to admit. However, I think there has been one issue in particular that took nearly all of this time in ministry to figure out. My mindset has been wrong and it’s slowly beginning to come around.
I think that youth ministry is a lot like watching my daughter learn to walk. Sometimes there are students who seem like they have everything right where they need it and simply need to make the decision to follow Christ. They’ve grown up in the church. They’ve got a Christian family. They even know all of the correct answers to your questions about Christ, sin, righteousness, etc. Yet something holds them back from ever taking that first step. It can be frustrating as a youth pastor to see these students seemingly set up for a relationship with Christ only to see them choose something else. But, here’s the lesson: you never ever lose hope in them and you never ever lose hope in Christ. Aletheia took her time walking but as her parents, we joined together in encouraging her, cheering for her, teaching her and even propping her up so that she could take those first steps. You never lose hope in your students or in what Christ is able to do in and through them.
One more lesson. Once Aletheia began to walk, she would frequently fall. Down she’d go, sometimes to bounce back up, and other times to stay down for a bit. If this isn’t a great picture of following Christ, then I don’t know what is. There have been times in ministry when you honestly believe that students (the ones who have been baptized) will never understand that life changes when Christ is introduced. I always wanted to have immediate change in their lives, and yet it never seemed to happened that way. To be honest, it doesn’t happen that way in MY OWN life!
So I would watch students who had just been baptized treating others pretty badly. Or I’d notice their Facebook page and realize that some of their posts weren’t appropriate. Or I’d even see them drop off the radar for a while and not come to church or youth group. And I would become irritated. I just wanted to see an entire ministry filled with students who lived EXACTLY like Jesus, and it never came to pass (and yes, I fully understand and take responsibility for the hypocrisy in that statement). I have been learning that patience might be the most valuable virtue in all of ministry. Students begin to walk in their faith, learning what it means to be devoted to Christ, learning what it means to be a living sacrifice, and falling down pretty often. Sometimes they’re right back up walking, and sometimes they stay down a bit because of all the pain they’ve just experienced. And again, the pastor can’t come to them with rage or judgment in his eyes. He must lovingly embrace them for who they are in that moment and encourage them to walk again.
Oh had I only learned that lesson six years ago. Trust may have been increased. Love may have been embraced. Bonds would have been built stronger. Patience and gentleness must be the characteristics that our students see in us at all times. Hard to do, and yet incredibly worth it.
Now, thinking ahead to when my daughter becomes old enough and slips up. I’m guessing that will be unlike anything I’ve ever experienced…
-The Pastor
nobirdstwostones 